Tuesday, January 10, 2012

"You must be an engineer" "You must be a manager."

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.

"I am" replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says "You must be a manager."

"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

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Pic dump





























 


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Blast from the past
Rod Stewart( Birthday Boy)
Young Turks





Cartoon Stuff



Cash Cow

 
The true meaning of Statements

Statement: "Im a Romantic."
True Meaning: "Im poor."
Statement: "Youre the only girl Ive ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasnt rejected me."
Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."
Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"
Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you really love me?"
True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find
out sooner or later."
Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "Ive done something really stupid and someones on
their way to tell you by now."
Statement: "Ive been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "Youre not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "Youre ugly."
Statement: "Ive learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
Statement: "Im on a long distance call, can you call me later?" 
True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."
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Todays Quote
Rod Stewart


Half the battle is selling music, not singing it. It's the image, not what you sing.
Rod Stewart

How can my son not be straight after all I've said and done for him?
Rod Stewart

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly.
Rod Stewart

I want to go out at the top, but the secret is knowing when you're at the top, it's so difficult in this business, your career fluctuates all the time, up and down, like a pair of trousers.
Rod Stewart

I wish I knew what I know now before.
Rod Stewart

I'm a rock star because I couldn't be a soccer star.
Rod Stewart

I've never been more in love with anyone nearly half my age than I am today. I'd get married in a minute if I weren't still married to somebody else.
Rod Stewart

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
Rod Stewart

Only a fool permits the letter of the law to override the spirit in the heart. Do not let a piece of paper stand in the way of true love and headlines.
Rod Stewart


The first cut is the deepest.
Rod Stewart

What I do now is all my dad's fault, because he bought me a guitar as a boy, for no apparent reason.
Rod Stewart

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