Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Farmer and the Old Lady

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says, 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.
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Morning Pic Dump








Fathers Day Left Overs



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Birthdays on June 19th

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Todays Pic Dump









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Blast from the Past


Happy Birthday Ann Wilson

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Afternoon Funnies












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Todays Quote
Birthday Boy
Salman Rushdie


A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.
Salman Rushdie

A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep.
Salman Rushdie

Be sure that you go to the author to get at his meaning, not to find yours.
Salman Rushdie

Books choose their authors; the act of creation is not entirely a rational and conscious one.
Salman Rushdie

Doubt, it seems to me, is the central condition of a human being in the twentieth century.
Salman Rushdie

Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself.
Salman Rushdie

I do not need the idea of God to explain the world I live in.
Salman Rushdie

I hate admitting that my enemies have a point.
Salman Rushdie

I used to say, 'There is a God-shaped hole in me.' For a long time I stressed the absence, the hole. Now I find it is the shape which has become more important.
Salman Rushdie

If I were asked for a one-sentence sound bite on religion, I would say I was against it.
Salman Rushdie

If Woody Allen were a Muslim, he'd be dead by now.
Salman Rushdie

In this world without quiet corners, there can be no easy escapes from history, from hullabaloo, from terrible, unquiet fuss.
Salman Rushdie


It is very, very easy not to be offended by a book. You just have to shut it.
Salman Rushdie

Most of what matters in your life takes place in your absence.
Salman Rushdie

Names, once they are in common use, quickly become mere sounds, their etymology being buried, like so many of the earth's marvels, beneath the dust of habit.
Salman Rushdie

One of the extraordinary things about human events is that the unthinkable becomes thinkable.
Salman Rushdie

Our lives are not what we deserve; they are, let us agree, in many ways deficient.
Salman Rushdie

Our lives teach us who we are.
Salman Rushdie

Rock and roll music - the music of freedom frightens people and unleashes all manner of conservative defense mechanisms.
Salman Rushdie

Sometimes legends make reality, and become more useful than the facts.
Salman Rushdie

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