Saturday, June 2, 2012

My 10,000th hit...Thank you( Special Saturday Edition)

These are statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details in as few words as possible. Such instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that incompetency can be highly entertaining. Yes, I know this is at least 40 years old. Still funny today.

1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.

3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

6. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

7. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

8. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

9. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the accident.

10. I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found that I had a fractured skull.

11. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

12. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

13. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

14. I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

15. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

16. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

17. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

18. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

20. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

21. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

22. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

Had my 10,000th hit 
thank you all for your patronage
Morning pic dump

Birthdays on June 2nd

Todays Pic dump

Blast from the Past

Afternoon Funnies

Birthday Boy
Jerry Mathers

I had a very special family life. My mother and father made sure when we were home, we were part of the family, not a TV star. And the other thing: my father was fully employed while I was doing the series.
Jerry Mathers

I have several computer companies. One of them I have a program for wide-format printing. I have a beauty program. So I have several different programs that I own for printing.
Jerry Mathers

I was the center square on Hollywood Squares for about fifteen weeks.
Jerry Mathers

And a special Birthday tribute
Martha  Washington

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
Martha Washington

I live a very dull life here... indeed I think I am more like a state prisoner than anything else.
Martha Washington

I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
Martha Washington

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not our circumstances.
Martha Washington

Interesting Movie Marquees

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