Man's Age, as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house --. Mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following: In your 20's: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register. In your 30's: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.   Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else.   Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror.   Still got it.   Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with. In your 40's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat.   Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy. In your 50's: Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.' In your 60's: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes.   The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure. In your 70's: Stop what you are doing.   Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize you still  have a hole in your pants In your 80's: Stop what you are doing.   Start again.   Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. In your 90's & beyond: What's a home deep hoe?   Something for my garden? Where am I?   Who am I?   Why am I reading this? Did I send it?   Did you?   Who farted?

Thanx to Hal

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Morning Pic Dump

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Birthdays on June 27th
1975 - Tobey Maguire
1938 - Bruce Babbitt
1930 - Ross Perot
1924 - Paul Conrad
1880 - Helen Keller

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Todays Pic Dump

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Blast from the Past

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Afternoon Funnies

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Todays Quote

Birthday Girl

Vera Wang

A woman is never sexier than when she is comfortable in her clothes.
Vera Wang

All those years of skating and dancing have carried over. I can't design anything without thinking of how a woman's body will look and move when she's wearing it.
Vera Wang

As the mother of two daughters, I have great respect for women. And I don't ever want to lose that.
Vera Wang

Don't be afraid to take time to learn. It's good to work for other people. I worked for others for 20 years. They paid me to learn.
Vera Wang

Fashion offers no greater challenge than finding what works for night without looking like you are wearing a costume.
Vera Wang

I adore the challenge of creating truly modern clothes, where a woman's personality and sense of self are revealed. I want people to see the dress, but focus on the woman.
Vera Wang


I see myself as a true modernist. Even when I do a traditional gown, I give it a modern twist. I go to the past for research. I need to know what came before so I can break the rules.
Vera Wang

I wanted to define the vocabulary of a wedding both visually and intellectually. The book is about more than weddings or wedding dresses. It's a metaphor for women's lives, their creativity.
Vera Wang

I work with structure, but I go outside the box and give it my own spin. I adore the challenge of creating truly modern clothes - where a woman's personality and sense of style are realized.
Vera Wang

I've been designing since I was 8. I started sketching dresses I could wear when skating. I was always involved in all aspects of skating, not just the technique, the choreography, the music, but the visual aspects, too - what I should wear.
Vera Wang

It's a remarkable exercise to sit and look at your own work over the years.
Vera Wang

It's for all the women who embrace my aesthetic, but can't afford a Vera Wang dress. If women can get anything out of it - a little bit of me or a lot of me, that's what's important.
Vera Wang


To me, eyewear goes way beyond being a prescription. It's like makeup. It's the most incredible accessory. The shape of a frame or the color of lenses can change your whole appearance.
Vera Wang

When I decided to get married at 40, I couldn't find a dress with the modernity or sophistication I wanted. That's when I saw the opportunity for a wedding gown business.
Vera Wang

When I design a wedding dress with a bustle, it has to be one the bride can dance in. I love the idea that something is practical and still looks great.
Vera Wang

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