Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Deep Thoughts for Children

From an actual newspaper contest where entrants age 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."...

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -- Age 15

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -- Age 13

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -- Age 10

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. -- Age 6

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! -- Age 6

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. -- Age 7

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. -- Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. -- Age 5

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. -- Age 15

Source: GCFL
Morning Pic Dump

Birthdays on November 27th

1940 - Bruce Lee
1942 - Jimi Hendrix
1955 - Bill Nye
1937 - Gail Sheehy
1957 - Caroline Kennedy
Todays Pic Dump

Blast from the Past

Afternoon Funnies

A man born with no legs , but a sense of humor

Today in History

Pope Urban II orders first Crusade, 1095
American Revolution
"The Chancellor" is born, 1746
Indy 500 champ Hélio Castroneves wins "Dancing with the Stars", 2007
Civil War
John Hunt Morgan escapes from the Ohio Penitentiary, 1863
Cold War
Alger Hiss released from prison, 1954
San Francisco leaders George Moscone and Harvey Milk are murdered, 1978
Freak storm dissipates over England, 1703
General Interest
Iron Guard massacres former Romanian government, 1940
Nehru appeals for disarmament, 1957
Bruce Lee born, 1940
Robert Burns postpones emigration to Jamaica, 1786
Jimi Hendrix born, 1942
Aerosmith and 50 Cent headline a $10 million bar mitzvah, 2005
Old West
Custer massacres Cheyenne on Washita River, 1868
White House housekeeper frets over presidential waistline, 1911
Gordie Howe scores his 600th goal, 1965
Vietnam War
Pentagon calls for troop increase, 1965
South Vietnamese forces attacked near Cambodian border, 1970
World War I
Hindenburg celebrates Warsaw campaign, 1914
World War II
French scuttle their fleet, 1942

1 comment:

    just thought I would yell something in German per your joke above.