Tuesday, November 13, 2012

PARAPROSDOKIANS: (Winston Churchill loved them!)

I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition:

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.

    1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

  2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

  3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

  5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

  6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

  7.. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

  9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

  10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

  11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

  12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

  13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

  14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

  15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

  16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

7. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

8. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

0. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

1. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 

2. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

3. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.  (My favorite!!!)


Morning Pic Dump


Birthdays on November 13th

Todays Pic dump

thanks to Jerry for these

Blast from the Past
 Afternoon Funnies


Today in History

Vietnam Veterans Memorial dedicated, 1982
American Revolution
Patriots take Montreal, 1775
Karen Silkwood dies in mysterious one-car crash, 1974
Civil War
Union General McClellan snubs President Lincoln, 1861
Cold War
Indiana Textbook Commission member charges that Robin Hood is communistic, 1953
Police search John Graham's home and find bomb-making materials, 1955
Tidal wave ravages East Pakistan, 1970
General Interest
First presidential tour concludes, 1789
East Pakistan devastated by cylcone, 1970
The eruption of Nevado del Ruiz, 1985
Whoopi Goldberg born, 1955
Robert Louis Stevenson is born, 1850
"Chris Gaines," Garth Brooks' rock alter ego, performs on Saturday Night Live, 1999
Old West
Ballinger-Pinchot scandal erupts, 1909
Truman announces inquiry into Jewish settlement in Palestine, 1945
Darryl Dawkins breaks his first backboard, 1979
Vietnam War
President receives optimistic reports, 1967
"March Against Death" commences in Washington, D.C., 1969
World War I
British statesman expresses criticism of war effort , 1916
World War II
Congress revises the Neutrality Act, 1941


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